Watch: Colton Underwood Explains he's '75% Gay' to 'Bachelor' Ex Hannah Brown
Kilian Melloy READ TIME: 2 MIN.
Colton Underwood went on ex Hannah Brown's "Better Tomorrow" podcast to talk about how he's "75%" gay, and how the other 25% isn't something he would "'want to pursue," according to People Magazine.
Addressing his stint on Season 23 of "The Bachelor" – where he and Brown dated – Underwood recalled the experience as "a weird form of conversion therapy on myself; I was really committed to becoming straight."
Predictably, the effort to "turn straight" didn't change Underwood's innate sexuality. But his genuine self is more nuanced; Underwood told Brown that he's "a gay man, but on the spectrum," adding, "I would say I'm 75% gay," adding that "there's still an attraction and appreciation and emotional connection that I could still have with women, but I don't want to pursue that."
The reason: A woman wouldn't be "my life partner," Underwood explained. "My life partner is Jordan, a man, and that's what I've always wanted, but I never felt comfortable saying that, and I honestly didn't even know that was the case until I sat with it and really figured it out."
Underwood contemplated how his orientation "might be confusing to some people, but I think that's where masculine and feminine energy, the sliding scale and it changes – I think that's the easiest way to explain my sexuality."
And that subject was fraught during his time on "The Bachelor," Underwood recalled, saying that being a virgin when he went on the show at the age of 26 was a topic he could not avoid. "My virginity was a big storyline, and I never wanted it to be, but then you had people poking and prodding on that," Underwood related. "I could never answer" questions around being a virgin at the age of 26, he added, saying that "I am... a man of faith, but it wasn't my sole reasoning, obviously, of me being a virgin."
"There was no space for me as the Bachelor to be, like, 'I'm questioning my sexuality,'" Underwood added. "So I just couldn't be honest with myself, I couldn't be honest with people... it was complex."
Brown recalled moments when she wondered about his sexuality, including a scene involving a hot tub when Underwood hesitated to walk to the tub barefoot because he'd just gotten a pedicure. Later, Underwood complimented Brown's shoes. "I'm like, wait, 'This conversation is not the conversation I thought I was going to be having.'"
"Are you supposed to be my gay best friend, or am I supposed to be dating you?" Underwood added, imagining what Brown must have been thinking.
The conversation turned to whether Underwood had ever been in love with a woman, and he told Brown that he had – and that it prepared him to be "a better partner for my husband."
Watch the exchange below.
Kilian Melloy serves as EDGE Media Network's Associate Arts Editor and Staff Contributor. His professional memberships include the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, the Boston Online Film Critics Association, The Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and the Boston Theater Critics Association's Elliot Norton Awards Committee.