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’Cover it Up!’: One Million Moms Take Issue With Swimsuit Issue

by Bobby McGuire
EDGE Media Network Contributor
Saturday Feb 15, 2014

Who thought a little side boob could cause so much drama?

Watch out straight men, they're coming for you now! The castrating crones of the conservative Christian media watchdog group One Million Moms (OMM) have a new target in their sights, and this one is as American as baseball, hot dogs and apple pie: the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

Their latest email rant reads:

Dear Bobby,

The cover of the Sports Illustrated 50th Anniversary Swimsuit Issue features three topless models hugging with their backs turned and focuses on the thong bikini bottoms they wear. There is also a side view of one model's breast. The SI Swimsuit Issue is nothing but soft porn and most closely resembles Playboy magazine. This soft core pornography is displayed in many family stores, often at checkout counters which is extremely offensive, disgusting and disrespectful to families. This type of publishing is also degrading to women.

Families should be able to enter supermarkets, convenience and drug stores without being subjected to indecency. Since SI is pushing pornography this magazine needs to be removed from stores, or at least moved to the magazine aisle so families can avoid being exp osed (sic) to this filth. Customers can choose to avoid the magazine aisle, but they cannot escape when the magazine is displayed at the checkout counters and lanes. Also, SI should place this in a nontransparent plastic cover to protect minors who are browsing the magazine aisle.

The rest of the tantrum goes on to instruct members of OMM (whose numbers according to Facebook actually are a little shy of 64,000) to contact Sports Illustrated to let them know that they are "pushing pornography" with this year's cover and to make the following threat:

Even though SI has an opt-out option for magazine subscribers, families should let the company know that if the magazine refuses to cover the models appropriately without anything exposed then you will cancel your entire magazine subscription. This way, you will no longer financially support a company participating in the printing of soft porn. Sports Illustrated needs to realize families do not want indecency shoved in their face.

The likelihood of this campaign having any influence on Sports Illustrated's editorial staff are slim at best. According to demographics published by, 77% of Sports Illustrated's readership are men. However, it is important to note that OMM has expanded its brand to include targeting heterosexual institutions like the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which according to Business Insider represents 7 percent of the magazine's entire annual revenue.

Take heed straight brethren and learn from these paraphrased stanzas of the famous Niemöller poem:

First they came for the gays, and I said nothing because I was not gay.
Then they came for the Disney Channel, and I said nothing because I was an adult.
Then they came for my Sports Illustrated - and there was no one left to speak for me.


  • patroy, 2014-02-15 17:05:46

    Don’t these frigid twats have anything better to do?!

  • Unbreakable1, 2014-02-16 14:51:05

    Clearly these cunts have nothing better to do. They are spending all this time trying to tell others how they should live their lives and raise their children, all while they’re own kids are causing havoc at home and school. Take care of your own damn family and leave everyone else alone.

  • GAG'EM, 2014-02-18 16:08:21

    If it’s called the Swimsuit Issue, shouldn’t they actually be wearing swimsuits?

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